Confession time.
I ugly-cried last week. Gut-wrenching, heart-breaking tears of despair. Have you ever been there?
Maybe it’s a struggle in your marriage. Or the loss of someone you love. Maybe it’s feeling like your hopes and dreams have been shattered.
Rejection.
Betrayal.
Shame.
Physical pain.
Health battles.
Tragic news.
Sometimes life just hits us hard.
Recently, I silently sobbed into my pillow for hours. Only God knew the depths of my pain, as I couldn’t even find the words to share with my husband. He knew I had received another rejection email from a potential publisher, but not how much it hurt.
It wasn’t the first, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. So why did it HURT SO DARN MUCH?!
Perhaps it was because I really thought this could be the answer to the prayer I’ve prayed for years. Could it have been because I invested my time and finances to attend a conference with the sole purpose of pitching to this particular publisher?
Or, maybe, just maybe, it was because I had simply grown so weary.
Maybe you’ve been there too. You’ve been in a place where life isn’t working out the way you had imagined, and you feel exhausted and discouraged.
Perhaps, like me, you’ve read the Bible and even had well-meaning friends quote Galatians 6:9 to you too:
“Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.” (AMP)
That’s all well and good,
BUT -I’m exhausted.
BUT -I’m looking at 2.5 unpublished manuscripts collecting proverbial dust on my laptop, benefiting NO ONE!
BUT -I’ve invested thousands (seriously, thousands) of hours of my life—of my children’s young lives—to pursue this calling to write and share with other mamas around the world.
BUT -I’ve poured thousands of dollars into this passion.
BUT– this simple rejection caused me to wonder if maybe, just maybe, I’m wasting my time, talents, and resources on a meaningless pursuit.
What circumstance in your life has you questioning everything you thought you knew?
Everything you thought you wanted? I imagine you could fill in your own “BUTS.”
Sweet friend, I want to encourage you.
You are not alone.
You are not forgotten.
You are loved and you have purpose.
Yes, even in the mundane.
Even in the mess.
So, what can you do? What did I do?
I shared my pain with others. Not the whole world, not even everyone in my inner circle. But I reached out to a few people who I knew I could count on to pray with me. People who understood the pain I felt.
And I prayed.
And I paused.
You see, when life hits us hard, it has a tendency to knock us off-balance. If we keep charging full force, we are likely to hurt ourselves and others.
I experienced this the other day when I climbed on my pretty pink bike to cruise the neighborhood with my kids. I noticed the handlebars were crooked, so I quickly adjusted them and climbed on. I didn’t stop to consider what might happen if the handlebars were loose.
I shoved off down my sloped driveway and quickly found myself unable to steer as my handlebars jerked to the side and I landed in a heap on the road.
It’s a scary sensation to lose control.
As I picked myself off the road, and assured my horrified children that I was alright (even though it hurt like heck!), I suddenly understood why the recent rejection stung so bad.
I realized I had no control.
We can do all the right things. We can hustle and fight to fulfill our dreams, but God doesn’t want us to.
God wants us to lean into Him and allow Him to do the miraculous in and through our lives.
I could publish my books. I could fill my calendar with speaking events. I could monetize my blog and make more money.
BUT, I don’t want to waste a moment fighting to fulfill my purpose in my own strength.
I don’t want to force things to happen in my own time or way, because I don’t want anything LESS than God’s best for my life.
God reminded me of the promise He gave me for the year, and it’s His promise to you too:
“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.” – Ephesians 3:20 TPT
I want to utilize my time, talents, and resources in a way that builds the Kingdom of God, not the ministry of Katie.
I don’t want to limit my life to just what I can accomplish on my own. I want to allow God to do the miraculous in and through me!
So, I surrendered my life.
Again.
I wrestled with myself and realized nothing matters more to me than faithful obedience to God. The longing in my heart is not for me, but for the Kingdom of Heaven.
As with my epic bike crash, I realized I needed to stop and regain my balance. I needed to reevaluate my direction. I needed to take a good hard look in the mirror and examine my motives and methods. And I needed to reconnect with the heart of God.
I found the answer to my prayer in The Message version of Galatians 6:9:
“So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued in doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.”
Here are three simple takeaways:
- Rest – don’t allow yourself to get fatigued. You don’t have to do it all. God is not looking for performance or perfection, but for us to live in His perfect peace.
- Trust God’s timing – I know, this is so hard! I’m wrestling with it myself, but I know that anything birthed in God’s timing will flourish. Your season in coming. Get ready!
- Bless those closest to you – Notice the key to not growing weary is actually found at the end of this verse. Every chance you get, utilize your time, talents, and resources to benefit those around you, especially those closest to you. Love your spouse and children well. Serve your neighbors. Volunteer at church. Freely you have received, freely give (Matthew 10:8).
Sweet friend. Maybe you need a moment to pause and reflect as well. Leave a comment or send me an email, and let me know what you’ve been struggling with.
I’d love to pray with you as we walk this out together!
Also, I created a few phone wallpapers to encourage you in this season. They are my gift to you!